January 17, 2007
~ Randomly...
Why we never quarrelled is because...
we are not unreasonable,
we can appreciate differences,
we have enough common interests,
we share similar world view,
we believe in 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you',
we consider each other's feelings and the right to have those feelings,
we give each other the benefit of the doubt,
we are not aggressive,
we care for each other,
we believe there is a better way to handle conflicts (if there is any),
we are pretty non-confrontational,
we love each other enough to want to hear each other out without being judgemental,
and etc.
xxx
When it happens, I hope I know it's happening. I hope I will be able to know when's the last breath before it happens. I hope I won't be alone when it happens. I don't even want to be asleep, in any dreams. I want to be in the arms of someone I love - a close friend or the one I love. I hope I have the time to write letters to each of those who had mattered before it happens. That probably means that it can't happen suddenly. I need time to write. I hope I will be able to remember for the last time, my last thought and feeling before it happens. I hope I remember to smile as it happens.
My 20 minute fascination with my death, as I sat in the physical waiting for the bus to take me home.
xxx
CJ: Need or want?
Me: Wants! I have a lot of wants. (think: new watch, new bag, new skirts, new swimsuit, new jogging shoes...) No needs. I only need a boyfriend or a girlfriend. (laughs)
CJ: You have part-time ones now.
Me: Ya. A lot of part-time ones.
xxx
I don't need promises. I don't need expectations. I don't need strength. I don't need pretense. I don't need for anyone to think on my behalf about what I'm doing with my life.
For now, I need possibilities. Just possibilities.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 21:56